Sometimes I feel depressed, and I do not know why. When I have the feeling, I think of the thoughts I am having, to understand, maybe my thoughts is what is driving my feelings. But, at the moment that I realize that I am feeling the way I do, my thought/what I am thinking, I am not thinking at all. I am thinking of what am I thinking. Maybe my thought is subliminal? I do not have the knowledge to understand why… Maybe just is.
I am wondering, do I feel depressed, or do I think that I feel depressed. The thought has to be what is driving my feeling, just as when I am immersed in laughter and joy, I have no feeling of being sad, or when I am sad, I have no feeling of laughing. Maybe I am overthinking, and just need to focus on one thing… letting go.
I once saw a picture of Steve Jobs sitting in an almost empty living room. A man who can afford to have so much, did not have many things. While I cannot afford much, have so many things. Maybe this is my mentality of overcoming my emptiness, to have clutter, which to me, are valued possessions? I have a thirty-year-old car that is parked in the driveway, that has not been driven in the last twelve years, and when I did drive the vehicle, I did not drive the vehicle much. I believe the car has 85,000 miles. At this point, why do I still have something that I no longer use? Similar to the feeling of why I feel sad at times, I do now know…
Thinking… maybe that is the thought that drives my feelings. Seems logical.
